Patience

Patience is something I struggle with. I struggle with it in parenting, in my marriage, and in my relationships with others. This weekend, I had the joy of spending time with only one of my kids while the other 2 took a road trip with Daddy. And I realized that my patience in parenting needs to be revisited :) (Such a nice way to say that I needed to quit the yelling and remember that my little ones are just that, little) I took the time to actually stop and smell the roses this weekend. We had an awesome trip to the Zoo with another Mom and her 2 girls. And when the rest of my family walked through the door tonight, I was full of patience. We had a little scare with my niece on Friday and it made me stop and think. My niece is the same age as N and they are BFF's, I couldn't imagine something happening to her. I know we all take for granted our healthy and happy children but as I drove by The Ronald McDonald house near our local children's hospital, I thought about the families who have to make their home there. I very purposefully don't read many stories about sick kids because I can't dwell on the what if's. We have a son who has an increased risk of melanoma due to a congential birth condition and every 4 months he is seen by one of the best pediatric dermatologists in the country. I don't sleep for days before that appt. thinking about the what if's. But sometimes...... like this weekend, my mind is thrown into a situation where do think about it.

I'm the first to admit, I take this life for granted. I have 3 amazing little boys, an awesome husband, a great family, and amazing friends. I thank God daily for this life but I don't always remember to show those who are so important to me that they are. I think most of us are guilty of forgetting to do that. And for a few days, we make it a point and then life gets busy again and we quit making it a priority again. I don't necessarily think this ebb and flow is bad, I think it's realistic. But for the next few days, I'll certainly be making it a priority :)

Someone told me the other day that I looked sad. And funny enough, that made me sad to hear. I'm not always sunshiny, I have my off days, but for the most part, I do love this life. Being a Mom to many little ones is tough. Having a husband who is gone for days on end so that he can provide for our family is tough. Taking 2 classes each semester for what feels like forever is tough. But it did make me realize that I need to stop and actually enjoy this time. My kids won't ever be 2,4, and 6 again. DH and I won't be married 8, almost 9, years again. So many things can wait. I've had to start putting my laptop away during the day because I spend entirely too much time just playing around on it. Time that could be so much spent doing the very things that stress me out. So for now, that's my 1st step in reclaiming the happiness that I've always had. I've noticed myself being in a "funk" for a while now but I coudn't pinpoint the cause. I spend a lot of time analyzing choices I've made, either for myself, for my marriage, or for the kids. I often think and rethink things until my head hurts. That part of me won't change. I started this blog so I could talk freely and I've begun to realize that right now, I need this blog so that I have some sort of outlet. There's a blogging contest sort of thing to blog every day in Nov. Well it's the 8th so I'm starting late but I'm going to try and blog every day until the end of Nov. It's worth a shot!